Immediate spoiler warning for Ahsoka (and for the concept of unboxing videos if you’ve never heard of them)
Sabine Wren finally found Ezra Bridger living with a tribe of turtle creatures dressed like Hobbits, and it reminded me of the kid I knew growing up who would invite us over to his house, but not let us play with his toys. For a moment five years and six episodes in the making, the staging of their reunion had the same sort of passion of a seven-year-old me wondering why the hell I'm even bothering to come over to this guy's house anymore.
All of this is to say, the Disney+ era of Star Wars doesn’t feel like Star Wars. It feels like toy unboxing videos.
Episode IV - A Few Hopes
For the long and generation-spanning history of Star Wars, toys have always been a thing. Ever since George Lucas famously retained merchandising rights as part of his deal to make the first film, the specter of selling toys has loomed over prequels, sequels and now Disney+ series. That’s all well and good though, Disney has whole sections of its theme park it needs people to buy stuff in. That part I get.
Star Wars is obviously not alone in this, but Lucas helped establish the practice of including a toyetic bent to the creative process that became standard operating procedure for tent poles. That’s why you create Jar-Jar and double-sided light sabers. That’s why Queen Amidala gets a dozen distinctly different looks that all look great on action figures.
What’s distressing is the way the shows and movies have started to feel like the creatives are just playing with their old toys. The Mandalorian started promisingly enough, following the adventures of a brand new character, and his adorable plushie-in-waiting ward. Soon enough though, the show is given to characters from a different show and, reliable as a trusty blaster at your side, Luke Skywalker arrives just to be sure we remember what show we’re watching.
It’s at this point of the unboxing video where the kid shoves his Boba Fett toy on top of a Rancor and says “ehhh? Cool right?”
Episode VI - Rerun of the Jedi
The first hint of this came with Rogue One, to date still mankind’s shortest space between a prequel and the movie it’s prequel-ing. The X-Wings, the sets, the wardrobe, even some repurposed footage from 1977 made it into the film alongside a morbidly resuscitated Grand Moff Tarkin action figure. While the story itself was not moving the franchise forward, more plugging a hole in the established story, the film at least introduced us to a new cast of characters. It also featured a Darth Vader moment that is, admittedly, very cool, and signals the height of his reign as Galaxy’s Biggest Badass.
Since then, however, Vader (née Anakin Skywalker) continues getting trotted out seemingly just to get his ass handed to him by a series protagonist. First, he’s tossed around by Obi-wan Kenobi in a canonically insane way that actively makes A New Hope sound stupid and now Ahsoka has defeated his spirit or memory or maybe he was really there? I suppose it doesn’t matter so long as it wasn’t a cave again. Besides, it’s a duel we’ve already seen before in Rebels, itself a showdown that lifted a line from the previous time we’d seen Darth Vader wheezing through a busted helmet. It’s Luke / Ahsoka, saying “I won’t leave you” straight to Anakin’s face, as opposed to Vader’s mask.
Revisiting these moments, even obliquely or as homages, becomes a harder sell every time. The more familiar a thing gets through repetition, the less impactful they all become, a phenomenon that’s especially disappointing when a galaxy as sprawling as Star Wars limits itself to the same characters and desert, twin-sun planets. It’s like unboxing the same toy over and over again, or really forcing the pun-attempting chapter headings of this op-ed.
Episode V - The Empire Comes Back… along with every other character you’ve ever met
See what I mean? That one was even out of order and, frankly, not trying very hard. But getting back to Ahsoka and the episode “Part Six: Far, Far Away” in particular. The ironic thing is that the episode is largely filled with all the things that are easiest to love about Star Wars. Sabine rides a weird, massive rat with a saddle that’s also a little scamp of a dog somehow. The aforementioned turtles cosplaying as rocks while also rocking Shire clothes are pitch perfect examples of the fantastic things Star Wars is capable of. The characters, however, in spite of having finally found each other, are blocked to stand at a distance. Their interactions are quiet and subdued, with little-to-no concern for the journey and potentially galaxy threatening means by which Sabine arrived in the Turtle Shire. It’s like it’s nice to just have these toys, even if we don’t really know what to do with them when we stick them together, so instead of unboxing them we’ll just keep them in the packaging.
Prior to that moment though, a more telling bit of dialogue sparked the fandom’s interest. To be fair, I was feeling good about this episode, with Anakin’s cameo in the rear view mirror and nothing but space whale galaxy-hopping ahead of us. Then Huyang began a story with “a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.” Granted, that’s (partially) the title of the episode, and the ancient droid would have technically been accurate describing the Witches of Dathomir and their origins with that phrase, but the line is not for Ahsoka. It’s meant for us out here in the audience.
That the line could be an elaborate retcon of the Star Wars universe, or a drastic expansion of its scope seems absurd to me. Instead, I think it’s the perfect example of Star Wars needing new toys. In universe, the line comes from a droid built 25,000 years ago, telling ancient stories to a character who grew up hearing them. And out here in the audience, there’s no better metaphor for the current state of Disney+ era Star Wars fare.
