Liv Morgan, you were so close!
Mere seconds away from winning it all, dagnabbit. My request, my proposition if you will, for Liv to win Elimination Chamber didn’t pan out. Though I also feel like it wasn’t ignored, right? She’s still on this precipice. Her time away has definitely moved her up several rungs. Especially when you consider how her match with Nia Jax on Raw ended with a schmozaganza and not, you know, Nia just sitting on her for the 1-2-3. She’s being protected by the booking which is the best protection you can have. Other than State Farm. #sponsoredcolumn
Anyhow, that was just a wee bit of Chamber follow-up. This week’s column is going to be about A-E-DUB. That’s right, ALL ELITE WRESTLING. Yes, I watch both. Yes, I like both. Though, as explained in my first column, I lean WWE. And I think I know why, even when considering the strengths and weaknesses of both promotions. And I say all this underneath the usual umbrella of “all wrestling is good wrestling” and “you can like what you like.” People who toxically think things should only be one way are goddamn court jesters and I wish them nothing but a world of entertainment that involves sitting in a chair and staring at a wall.
That being said, I personally am not a huge fan of when all wrestlers can do all the moves. I’m happy it exists though! Good for it! All styles are welcome. Strong style. Schmedium style. Relaxed Fit style. But I prefer, like a madman, the weird rigidity I grew up with when each wrestler had, like, six moves. And two of them were the set up and the finisher. Okay, maybe I need more than six moves, but I like wrestlers having in-ring identifiers and then watching how the match storytelling utilizes those moves in creative ways, even bending and twisting the established conventions during higher-profile bouts.
Obviously, there’s a happy medium between all wrestlers having every maneuver in their arsenal (including everyone and their Great Aunt Opal doing Canadian Destroyers) and wrestlers only having the Five Moves of Doom. There’s middle-ground. But when anything can happen in a match, there’s a sort of numbness that washes over me. Just stating personal preference. I’ve also seen some of the best matches in my life in AEW. And alternatively, I get pissed that, like, five or six people in WWE use the spear regularly. We all contain multitudes and we’re all just trying to do our best here on Earth dot org.
One of AEW’s original quarterly PPVs, Revolution, is this Sunday, and the card looks good and chunky. It feels like there’s a nice new post-CM Punk/All In sheen to this one that AEW’s Fall PPVs – which were more frequent and consequently more underwhelming – couldn’t muster. It’s hard to be a tall weed during WrestleMania season, especially when heel Rock is back (and now probably facing Cody on Night 1), but AEW is doing its best with the farewell to Sting, Swerve Strickland being super over, Will Ospreay “innit?”ing all over the place, and the luxurious roster debut of Okada looming.
Man, I wish Sting could have had his final match against Okada and then, as full Crow Sting, say “It can’t rain all the time!”Aand then I’d point at my screen and yell "Eric Draven" so loud I’d scare my cat. My cat would not be scared, mind you, because I screamed. But because she helped kill Shelly Webster.
AEW has struggled almost since day one with balancing its veritable Horn of Plenty roster. It’s either giving away the store to ex-WWE stars coming in at the expense of their homemade talent or it's failing the ex-WWE stars by bringing in too many at once so that they all just get pushed for two months and then dropped like fungus milkshake (which isn’t real, but I feel like if I had it in my hand I would let it go). The company will nicely recognize true unique talent and lightning-in-a-bottle gimmickery (Orange Cassidy, “Timeless” Tony Storm) but then also spectacularly fail folks who seem to have the crowd in the palm of their hand (Wardlow).
It also lets some of these bigger names come in and just… sort of hang out? And just wrestle dream matches against their good buddies or NJPW stars they’ve idolized when they could be making bigger, more marquee moves for the company. The other side of that coin though is that it’s nice that Adam Page and Swerve Strickland are in the AEW World Championship match and not, you know, Adam Copeland and Jericho or whomever. But also… is Copeland going to do something? Why does it feel like he’s trying to run out his contract even though he, like, just got there? I love a slow build and long lead-in but also… gimme a little razzle dazzle. The OLD razzle dazzle, even. One leg out. It’s all I ask.
I guess my point is the Revolution card is very good but it’s not stacked. It’s not what it could be. But let’s get into the biggest matches:
Samoa Joe vs. "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Swerve Strickland
I really want Swerve to win the title. He’s been one of AEW’s truly excellent success stories as a former WWE-er. And yes, I would absolutely take him winning the belt at Revolution even if it meant a shorter reign for Joe.
But I also think it’s not time yet. Do they want to turn him full-tilt babyface first? Or maybe he’s already there. Do they want to put the title on heel Adam Page (wrestling mustache always = bad day at black rock!) first and then have that feud continue on with the title? Three-way dances where the two contenders hate each other more than the champ usually go the champ’s way. With that in mind, I feel like there’s still one more ingredient needed in Swerve’s story before the big win. Maybe he ditches Prince Nana first. Maybe he needs to get into hard liquor and soft cheeses. I don’t know. The Opposite Momentum Rule, based on Dynamite, is working Swerve’s favor, but most likely Joe will retain by pinning Page.
"Timeless" Toni Storm vs. Deonna Purrazzo
I can’t see Deonna Purrazzo, who is awesome no doubt, taking this one given the “Timeless” appeal of Storm’s new persona (after finally shedding the “young woman who said she liked Motley Crue once in developmental” package). But that could just be my brain being conditioned by how AEW’s women’s division has usually played out. For the women, it usually is a new person coming, getting a title shot quickly, and then getting dispatched and sent to the back of the line… kind of forever? So maybe the cycle breaks this time. Perhaps it's not the same old, same old. Because the “Timeless” schtick doesn’t need the title. It’s its own entity. The People’s Norma Desmond.
Eddie Kingston vs. Bryan Danielson
I’m into this feud. And it’s just about a prickly asshat being super mad at an insufferable prig. Who could have called it? This one’s got damn good long-term, strong-build storytelling where these two have just been locked inside a prison of disdain for months. This isn’t even the first time they’re wrestling. It’s just the most important time. It’s also great that this has been building while AEW decided to get off its duff and do something with Kingston (who was previously a “Wardlow”). Anyhow, win OR lose, I see Danielson shaking Kingston's hand.
Sting and Darby Allin vs. the Young Bucks
I’ve always been spectacularly annoyed by the Bucks so their latest s***ty turn, complete with Succession-style entrance music, just solidifies what I’ve believed to be true in my heart for over a decade: They need to get beaten and broken into 999 pieces. Why not 1000? Because then there’s one piece missing and they’ll never be whole again. You're just lost. Longing for purpose.
I’m also not the biggest Sting mark in the world, despite having watched him since, my best guess, 1989? But I also consider it to be a minor miracle that he’s been in the company and at Darby’s side since the very beginning. That’s a long, hyper-specific (weakness-hiding) run that I think has done AEW, and Darby, a lot of good. Sting gaveth of himself, while, honestly, also kinda sorta “hanging out” a bit. But the point is to find the sweet spot for these re-quel legacy characters. You don’t want them maxing and relaxing on the company’s dime and you also don’t want the Main Event Mafia.
It would be great if he and Darby retained those tag titles (though the OM Rule says otherwise). Yeah, you’re supposed to lose on the way out, but it’s the Bucks. A: I hate them, and B: They can just win the vacated titles afterward. Or just reward themselves the belts on the next Dynamite like we’re in some sort of awful late-stage WCW.
Other sure-to-be bangers include Orange Cassidy vs Roderick Strong, FTR vs. Mox and Claudio, Ospreay vs. Takeshita (in a weird bit of Don Callis Family in-fighting), and Christian Cage vs. Daniel Garcia. There will probably be a second women’s match during the pre-show (which is a whole other can of worms - the short-sheeting of that division) and I hope it’s got Willow Nightingale in it somehow. Because she’s easily a future division cornerstone.
What Revolution match(es) are you looking forward to the most? Who do you want to see win, or retain, gold? Sound off down below!
KNEELIFT!
