Warning: The following features fake blood and phony-baloney killings...
Before we unwittingly enter this vampire blood rave, led to our doom by Traci Lords, saved from said doom by the Daywalker Blade, let’s have a moment of silence for poor Chad Gable.
What a half-week he's had. Lost his IC title match in Glasgow. Betrayed by his family a few days later. Squashed by a giant. Then, at his lowest point, his rock bottom, he gets full on murdered backstage by a cabal of masked ghoulsih homicidal monsters.
Naturally, Chad wasn’t the only one mercilessly cut down in their prime inside Uncle Howdy’s Haunted Gorilla Position (coming to Hollywood Horror Nights this Fall). Chad-squasher Braun Strowman was also among the fallen. As well as heaps of carcasses piled a mile high on rye.
Yes, The Wyatt 6 (Wyatt Six? Wyatt Sicks? Wyatt Sick6?) made their glorious ghastly debut on RAW this week and it was way more elaborate, immersive, and fun than expected. It could have just been Bo Dallas (Taylor Rotunda) as the returning Uncle Howdy walking out with a lantern and making a public appearance. Even with plans for a bigger stable, this could have just been a more subtle solo offering. They could have drawn out things out NWO-style. But nope, they went BIG with the entire thing, creating a creepy backstage murder tableau complete with fog and blood and a walk-through Scare Zone vibe that just freakin’ nailed it.
In the midst of Clash at the Castle aftermath (hey, all my predictoroonies were right!), Seth Rollins’ return, Drew McIntyre “quitting,” and AEW’s Forbidden Door next weekend, The Wyatt 6 remain the absolute talk of the town. Of course, Chad’s not really dead (what??). We’re just having fun out here on wrestling dot internet. But he did get what looks to be a big time head injury.
Having recently re-signed with WWE, was this done to take him off TV for a bit, to rebuild him after losing the Sami Zayn angle? Will he come back with a new shtick? Willl he have amnesia? Will he fake having amnesia? Will he become a Wyatt Six Puppet? And how will Braun feel about being taken out by the Wyatts, having been a former Wyatt himself? Is that the first feud we’ll see out of this horror brigade? Gable and Strowman are actually booked for a Triple Threat Match on the next Raw so this will shake out sooner than later.
Oh, and there was also this dude…
Yes, the Wyatts left things exactly the way they should’ve. Like you just walked into a club after John Wick lost his dog. Last week, I wrote about how excited I was for Uncle Howdy to make his big splash. Even though it was Bray without Bray, and ultimately without his ongoing input, bringing Howdy back was a more than a worthwhile endeavor. Because it was honoring Bray while also getting Bo back on TV.
But — boy howdy! (pun intended!) — did it surpass everything I expected. And by going bigger, with more members, it felt even more respectful of Bray.
The Firefly Funhouse was a genius creation that Bray populated with his career landmarks (failures and pitfalls included). Let’s break it down: Abby the Witch and Mercy the Buzzard from his cult days. Huskus the Pig from his unfortunate Nexus run. And Ramblin’ Rabbit seemed to embody the critique that Bray had a meandering, loquacious promo style. Now these puppets are full-size humans ready to rip you limb from limb.
We don’t know, as of yet, how they’ll reconcile having already established wrestlers play these avatar-y roles (like, are they possessed by the malicious spirits of these characters?) but maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe it doesn’t matter that Joe Gacy is Huskus. That Dexter Lumis is Mercy. Or that Erick Rowan (complete with Bludgeon Brothers mallet) is Ramblin’ Rabbit.
Rowan’s inclusion was key here, if a stable was being assembled. It made an already-poignant segment even more meaningful. With two OG Wyatt Family members now gone, Rowan’s Ramblin’ is now a powerful testament to the entire legacy. We don’t have official confirmation of all these names, but we know. And we definitely know one of them for certain because she tweeted it out.
Those of you who’ve been reading the Wrap Up for over a decade (jfc, time) will most definitely know that all I ever wanted in life was a live-action Sister Abigail. Not just because it would be awesome but because the lore, the storyline, seemed to dictate, promise even, that it WOULD happen. Like, it was for sure being teased. Abigail was “long dead.” Like Kane was supposed to be. It would've been the perfect Wyatt Family surprise.
Back in 2013, the late great Daffney, though injured and out of the game, still seemed like a natural pick for this role. Then WWE, forever in the trolling game under Vince, had Bray dress up as Abigail himself, and booked a PPV match against Finn Balor’s Demon that never happened due to Bray getting sick. It was all about Finn looking like a Haloween grocery store sheet cake and a Bray was cosplaying as if Miss Havisham was a keynote speaker at a "Stop the Steal" rally.
Then came Nikki Cross. Arguably, a second coming of Daffney (definitely influenced by Daffney, she herself has said). A perfect Sister Abigail. But, as per usual, what was a big success in NXT got fumbled in major ways on the main roster.
Nikki was the victim of the long standing known thing that Vince didn’t understand the appeal of goth chicks. Daffney once said it too, back when she briefly was in developmental. He didn’t know what to do with scary, psycho, tattooed, non-model-esque brunettes. Nikki would eventually land herself a world championship, but not as Nikki. She had to flip everything and become a underdog sunshine-and-rainbows superhero character to do it.
But now Nikki is Abigail!
At long last! Everything’s coming up Fowler. What a boon. We came close when Alexa Bliss joined Bray some years back and fell under the Funhouse spell. That seemed to be leading toward some type of Abigail role, but she wound up being a different evil entity altogether.
Now we're cooking with gas! We’ve got us a freakin’ Abby! And Nikki is allowed to be nuts again. We can only hope now that the follow up matches the majesty of this incredible debut.
Now, let’s take it to the streets. They’re called the Wyatt 6 (Six? Sicks? Wooshtersher?). There are five of them. The sixth is Bray, correct? Right? His presence. Or will they actually do a sixth member who gets revealed later? What do you think?
This segment felt big enough to be a company-wide storyline. Like, these maniacs will haunt everyone. Let's hope this doesn't go the way of Retribution though.
I mean, it can't right? No one's named Slapjack so we're already off to an exponentially better start. Unless Slapjack is the sixth. Or T-Bar. Or Crankwad (I forget the rest of the names).
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